and now, the levity! *WARNING: Adult situations*

A man goes to his doctor and says "Doc, I got a terrible tapeworm, I'm wasting away!" The doctor says "Okay, I've got a sure-fire treatment for you," and tells the man to drop his trousers and bend over. When the man does, the doctor takes two apples and a cookie and shoves them up the man's bunghole.

The man straightens up, with some difficulty, and says "What the hell did you do that for?"

"All part of the treatment," the doctor replies. "I want you to come back tomorrow for the next step." The man reluctantly agrees and leaves.

The next day, the man returns, and the doctor tells him to drop his trousers and bend over. The man does, and again the doctor shoves two apples and a cookie up the man's bunghole. The man turns around angrily, but before he can say anything, the doctor holds up his hand and says "All part of the treatment. Come back tomorrow."

This goes on for weeks, until finally the man can't take any more. "When is this gonna end, doc? This is driving me crazy!" The doctor replies, "We're almost done. Come back tomorrow for the final treatment."

The next day, the man returns, drops his trousers and bends over. The doctor once more shoves two apples up the man's bunghole, then picks up a hammer and waits.

After a few moments, the tapeworm sticks its head out and says "Hey! Where the hell's my cookie?"

WHAM!

wild applause
wolfie takes his bows
curtains drop

don't get excited, don't say a word/nobody noticed, nothing was heard/it was committed discreetly/it was handled so neatly/and it shouldn't surprise you at all, you know
-- Billy Joel